How to Know if She is a Keeper

By: | January 21, 2015 | Tags: , , , , |

Your marriage can be successful and last a long time. #marriageAre you insecure in your relationship?  Do you wish you could feel more secure?

There is a movie called, “What Women Want” with Helen Hunt (okay, Mel Gibson was in it too).  It’s about a man who wishes he could know what women think and ends up getting that wish.

This post is for women that want to know what men think.  Whether it is to feel more secure in a relationship, to get a relationship that results in longevity, or to be able to coexist in a world where Men Are From Mars, and Women Are From Venus, this post is for you.

The inspiration came from a reader whose comment motivated me to redo a study.  On January 7, I published,  16 Ways to Know If He (or She) is a KeeperThe reader complimented me on an “interesting” study, but said the post was erroneously titled.  He said that it didn’t apply to my writing because it was only for women.  He implied a more appropriate title would be, simply, 16 Ways to Know if He is a Keeper.  In that reader’s honor, I am redoing the study.  This time, I have only interviewed men.

Like with my past studies, I will be looking to see if there is a difference in age and marital status.

My other studies are 15 Secrets of Marital Longevity and What is the Secret of Happiness?

Me: How do you know if she is a ‘keeper’?  In other words, how do you know if you want longevity with someone?

  • Married Man, 70’s

I like the woman to be nurturing.

  • Married Men, 60’s

Someone I could be myself with and have heart-to-heart talks.

A woman who is easy to talk to and make conversation with.  She should share my interests.  We should care about the other person’s moods.

  • Married Men 50’s

Someone who gives me unconditional love.

A woman who has the same eye color as me.  I have light-colored eyes, which is a recessive gene.  I wanted a woman with eyes like that so our children would inherit my recessive gene and have light eyes.

A woman with personality, background, and brains.  She should be flexible–it won’t be important to her to be right.  We should also share the same religion.

Someone who is happy and interested in learning about me.

  • Married Men 40’s

A woman who is gentle, not loud.

Someone who could provide domestic care for the family and the home.

A woman who wants longevity like me.

  • Married Men 30’s

She wants a family because it creates stability.

  • Married Men 20’s

Ability to talk a long time without a break in the conversation.

Someone I think looks like a model, and she would find me attractive too.  She needs to want children since I do, and be the same religion as me for that reason.  She can’t be taller than me.  She should motivate me to be the best version of myself.  Our personalities should mesh well.  She should be confident.  Insecure girls take themselves too seriously.  I want a girl who can laugh at herself.


Commonalities: Both men in their 60’s expressed desire for good conversation with their partners.  However, the man in his 20’s indicated he likes this as well.  Religion was also mentioned more than once by men in different age groups.  The most common answer was a factor related to a desire for children.

Problems With the Study:

Not enough people in each age group to be able to draw accurate conclusions.  Therefore, these are generalizations that would indicate a need for further study.


Only one man mentioned appearance.  Is it stereotypical of me to think more would mention looks and sex?  No one mentioned a good sexual partner as a condition for longevity.

Indications for Further Study:

One of the men I interviewed predicted that only examining age and marital status would not be a thorough view of what men think.  In order to ascertain why men want longevity with a woman, I would need to consider region of residence, religion, and personality.

In conclusion, my readers know I watch the TV show The Bachelor.  The episodes feature up to twenty-five insecure girls.  Perhaps they should read my study.  Then they could know what the Bachelor and other men want.

Readers, sharing is caring.  If you know anyone who could benefit from reading my study, please share.

Readers, what is your opinion of my findings?  I know I have many male followers, but I only have 13 respondents in this study.  Would anyone like to add to these answers?  I look forward to your views.



  1. john doe

    There has to be a physical attraction to a female at the very beginning before there is even a relationship without that physical attraction nobody in the study would ever get a chance to find out whether or not she was a keeper

    • Janice Wald

      Hi Lucy,
      PS, I got some traffic, and a few new followers from my guest posting on your site this week, so thanks, very much, again.

  2. BritishMumUSA

    Not one of these men said we. It was all about ME! A woman that will be interested in my hobbies, interests, and so on… Be the same religion as me….

    I have been married for 23 years, met the hubs when I was 18, married when I was 22. We have the same interests, and we have the same hobbies. We also have several hobbies/interests that we do separately so that we have something different to talk about to each other.

    The guys above need to put we into their language I think 🙂

    I like what the 20 y/o said, that sounds like some of what my hubs would have said, especially a woman that laughs at herself and knows how to have FUN!

    • Janice Wald

      Thanks for noting that there WAS a difference in the answers. Other than the male who commented about sex, I could only find the commonalities. Thanks for reading my study.

  3. mr_hoang

    thank you for re-doing the study. I enjoyed the post. I could relate to some of those guys but the one that stood out to me was having a girl that allows me to be myself. I think that’s important.
    As for the appearance thing, personally I have met a few girls where the initial attraction wasn’t there but it grew the more I got to know her.
    anyways I want a girl who’s independent, and a girl who isn’t afraid to express her feelings. I’d also like to add having the same values is quite important. Wanting the same thing’s in life. I’ll admit I did follow the bachelor for a bit and that was one of the things that seemed to keep some of the couples together. lol

    • Janice Wald

      Thanks again for the inspiration. There are 11 comments, so others found it interesting.

  4. Pingback: Inspire Me Monday Linky Party #17
  5. Kristen from The Road to Domestication

    This is a very interesting post! (Now I want to break out “What Women Want” LOL That was a funny movie!) Thanks for linking up at the #HomeMattersParty – we hope to see you again this Friday!

  6. Melinda

    I’m glad you did this one from a man’s perspective. But I was really shocked no one else mentioned sex either. Good for them!
    I thought it was funny about the one wanting light eyed children.

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