Are you stuck in a relationship rut? Do you sometimes feel relationships are more work than they’re supposed to be? Did you and your partner answer mostly “no’s” to the majority of the 16 questions in yesterday’s query about the status of your relationship (16 Ways to Know if He or She is a Keeper)? Then you are the inspiration for today’s blog post.
If you and your partner are stagnating in a relationship rut, and don’t know how to dig yourselves out, do the following:
- Model clothes for each other. Couples have three main problems: they fight over family, sex, and money. If you and your partner fall into the last category, you need to get buy in from each other. If you are a woman whose husband disapproves of her spending habits, show him the clothes or other purchases when you get them home. Get buy in from him about how nice they are before he sees the bill. Buying styles and colors he likes to see you in will facilitate buy in and make him feel like you care about his opinion.
- Stay up late talking
I once saw this situation played out on an episode of Home Improvements. Tim was afraid his wife was going to leave him since she seemed to be interested in another man. At the end of the episode, they stayed up all night talking (yes, just talking), and everything was fine.
- Sign up for a class together
If you are in a relationship rut, you need to reinvent yourselves. Sorry, you do. There is a negative connotation associated with the word work. People think working on their relationship means giving effort when they are already tired from their daily activities and growing increasingly dissatisfied with the relationship. Effort? It can be fun. Find a common interest and pursue it together.
In the years since my husband and I got married, we’ve taken tennis lessons, photography lessons, and smart phone lessons (just to name three off the top of my head) together. We’ve also been to seminars together. One was a blogging seminar. Wayne went to support my interest, and I’ve gone to seminars he was interested in to support his interests. We were going to take Spanish together, but they cancelled the class.
- Take your partner’s picture. It will make them feel like you are into them. Wayne and our dog Casper are super bonded, so I’m frequently taking their picture. Then, send them the picture.
- Leave your partner nice notes. “Nice” is intentionally vague. Wayne is a really funny guy, so sometimes he sends me funny texts. They are so random I just burst out laughing without warning wherever I am.
- Go see a concert or show together. Did you see the movie “Date Night” with Tina Fey and Steve Carrell? They went out weekly no matter how tired they were. This idea is not only in movie scripts. My brother and his wife have “date night,” and they’ve been happily married about thirty years.
- Challenge each other to a game. Wayne and I love Gin Rummy; I always carry cards with me.
- Double date with friends. If you are in a relationship rut, you should spend time with other people. Then, when the evening is over, you can talk about them instead of concentrating on the problems that put you in a relationship rut in the first place.
- Get out of the house together. Walk the dog, or take a drive. Sometimes, the environment of the home can feel oppressive since you’re so used to being unhappy there. Furthermore, when you take the drive, sing your favorite song. Rock out together. You need to get in the habit of having fun together again.
- Make a list of why you were crazy about each in the first place. With the responsibilities of daily life dragging you down, it’s easy to forget.
- Give each other back rubs. The physical contact may reignite that spark!
- Spend a tech-free day together. I was on a cruise ship in the middle of the Pacific during Christmas week. What’s a blogger to do? I paid for Internet minutes. When they ran out, Wayne and I had a tech-free day! Although my addiction to blogging was met with withdrawal pains, it was novel being with him without the lure of the Internet.
Source: 30-Day Relationship Challenge, http://www.popsugar.com/love/30-Day-Relationship-Challenge-35253795
Readers, if you feel these tips can help a couple that you know, please share. Have any of these ideas worked for you? Do you have any additional “G” Rated suggestions for spicing up a relationship? I look forward to your views.